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Sunday, December 8, 2013

HOW TO COPE UP AND OVERCOME THE “FAILURE FEELING” WHEN YOU FLUNK THE CE BOARD EXAMS

HOW TO COPE UP AND OVERCOME THE “FAILURE FEELING” WHEN YOU FLUNK THE CE BOARD EXAMS


HOW TO COPE UP AND OVERCOME THE “FAILURE FEELING” WHEN YOU FLUNK THE CE BOARD EXAMS

By: Dindo F. Mojica, C.E., M.Eng






Review: Reasons of Failing the CE Board Exams (Please visit the link) 


Common Reasons Why Candidates Failed the CE Board Exams
1.       Low Self-Esteem
2.       Poor Study Habits
3.       Poor Memory
4.       Fear/Tension





Some CE reviewees/candidates flunk the CE board exams due to some reasons. Failing the CE Board Exams can be one of the most devastating/toughest life experiences of a CE reviewee/candidate, most especially to the honor graduates (cum laude, magna cum laude, summa cum laude) when they were not expecting to fail the CE board exams.






CE board exam failure can be one of the many “hurdles” you will have to experience and to surpass in your life and I’m sure that this event, you will have possibilities to learn and rise above CE board exam failure. As the saying goes, “Failure improves the taste of victory.” Just always remember that CE board exam failure will not hinder you in achieving your dreams: to become a licensed CIVIL ENGINEER!

Let me share to you the STAGES OF CHANGE By Elizabeth Kubler Ross when it is applicable to candidates who flunk the CE board exams.




This is how CE reviewees who flunked the CE board exams undergo the stages of change. But it depends on the reviewees’ point of view and capacity on how to accept reality and be ready to move forward, re-take the CE board exams and pass it!


DENIAL – “That’s not true! I didn’t fail the CE board exams.” (Hindi totoo yan! Hindi ako bumagsak sa CE board exams.”)

ANGER – “Why is it that I’m dumb? Those examiners are responsible on why I experiencing it.” (“Bakit ka kasi ako bobo? Ang mga examiners ang may kasalanan kung bakit ako nagkakaganito.”)

DEPRESSION – “There is no hope. I had reached my limitations.” (“Wala nang pag-asa. Hanggang dito na lang ang kakayahan ko.”)

BARGAINING – “If 1% is lacking to reach to the passing rate, I wander I pass.” (“Kung umabot lang sana ako ng 1% sa passing rate, sana pumasa ako.”)

ACCEPTANCE – “I flunk the CE board exams; I need to accept it and next time I will pass it! I’m going to review harder! I’m going to be an engineer! (“Bumagsak ako sa CE board exams. Kailangan kong tanggapin ito at dapat bumawi ako sa susunod! Mas sisipagan kong magreview! Magiging engineer ako!”)










Here are my tips on how to overcome your “doomsday” mindset

1.       PRAY TO GOD FOR WISDOM, STRENGTH AND GUIDANCE

Just always remember that everything happens for a reason. In God’s appointed time, you will pass the CE board exams. Just like I said in my previous post that God helps who helped themselves. Only GOD knows your heart’s desire. Allow yourself to fail on purpose. Just keep on trusting and believing in God’s purpose. Don’t forget to pray. Just keep the faith. And always remember: "Our mistakes, our failures, our poor chances don't have to keep us from our God-given destiny. With God, it's not about the way you start in life, it's about the way you finish." 






2.       STAY CALM & REMAIN CALM

Just take your time; reviewees don’t usually recover from an exam failure overnight. It takes time for the emotions to heal. In this period, you must realize on how to get back on track and perform better. Don’t blame yourself in failing the CE board exams. Just have a positive attitude and outlook in life; I will rise again!



3. TALK & SHARE YOUR PAIN/EMOTIONS TO YOUR CLOSEST/DEAREST LOVEONES

Talk to your family, closest friends and other people whom you trust that you didn’t pass your CE board exams. By sharing your pain with them, you will feel comfortable and the pain you feel inside will lessen and will ease gradually (healing period; lilipas din iyan). Avoid sharing your pain to other people (whom you’re not close to it); those people will mock and tease you (pupulaan ka lang; akala mo na kung sinong napakagaling). Just remember this: “Allow your exam failure to serve as an opportunity to strengthen your determination to pass the CE board exam in the midst of criticism.”


4.      ANALYZE YOUR MISTAKES

The most important period of assessing yourself is to analyze your mistakes. You must know your mistakes so that you can avoid it next time. Even if you fail the CE board exams, there is really no need to worry. Just remember that failing the CE board exams does not make you a failure in life and it is not the end of your world.


5.       MOVE ON & FOCUS ON TRYING AGAIN

Again, you must forget what happened on your exams and move on. You must start planning to review again and assess your new priorities together with your strengths and weaknesses. Learn to stay positive in all you do to have better concentration in review. You must get back on track if you’re going to review again by self-method or attending again a commercial review program (review, refresher or coaching) of your choice.

If you had secure your grades from the PRC (premises or online), you must again assess your strengths and weaknesses. For example, you pass Mathematics and Design but you fail in Hydraulics, devote more time on studying your weaknesses; revise your study schedules and maintain a good reviewing attitude. This time, you must review harder and having a stronger determination/will.


 

Failure can help you discover your best-self. It teaches us the will power, persistence, patience, self-discipline and the values of hardwork and never-giving up attitude. Just remember that failure is a stepping stone to a stronger, more resilient “you”. Treat failure as a gift of learning, a moral lesson on what not to do in the future and another opportunity to be better and become a newly-registered/licensed civil engineer.


I just want to share with you a poem from Tim Connor


Knowing How To Overcome Failure Is Part Of Being Successful
by Tim Connor 

"Failure." It's only a word. But it carries with it so much pain and so little concern, so much frustration and so little respect, so much stress and so little understanding that people spend their lives running through their days in the hope of avoiding the long arm of this little word.

To test your vision, you must risk failure.

To temper your ego, you must attempt the impossible.

To tell your story, you must take a chance.

To see beyond the horizon, you must spread your wings.

To be all you can be, you must stretch, flex, try, and go beyond your proven limits.

To bridge the silence, you must risk rejection.

To advance into the unknown, you must risk the peril of all your previous beliefs and emotions that feel so secure.

Failure is not negative. It is a teacher. It molds, refines, and polishes you so that one day your light will shine for all to see.


It isn't the failure you experience that will determine your destiny, but your next step and then the next that will tell the story of your life.


Good luck future civil engineers!














FRANCIS J. KONG'S QUOTES:

"A man can fail many times, but he isn’t a failure until he begins to blame others for his failures. He doesn’t become a failure until he is satisfied with being one. Here is an observation that saddens me: Some people retire in life too early. They just give up. DON’T!"
—  Francis Kong

Ok, so you have failed. Move on. Do not let time to creep in and allow that particular failure to define you. The time that elapsed between the “failure” and the time you start moving is crucial.
—  Francis Kong

Failure is not my enemy. Ziglar says today’s failure is fertilizer for tomorrow’s success. Do not be afraid to fail. Be afraid that you have not even tried. Learn from each episode and become stronger and wiser in the process.
—  Francis Kong






Note/Disclaimer:



This tip/advice is only applicable to reviewees who are willing to undergo “good” change. It depends on the reviewees capacity, attitude and in case-to-case basis.  

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